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Sobra

  • Writer: Mae Selades
    Mae Selades
  • Oct 18, 2019
  • 2 min read

I was shocked when I received this message from my Ex:

"Nothing beats your love.

You are always the best for me. Tayo man o hindi.

Mahal kita at palagi kitang mahal."

Nung nareceive ko to, napatanong ako, masarap pala ako magmahal?

Ganun pla ako magmahal.. ang tagal na, ganun parin pala ang nararamdaman nya..

Then i questioned myself, what else then is wrong with me?

Anu paba kulang? kulang ba? sobra ba? Hindi pa ba ako sapat? Bakit hindi nyo ako magawang ipaglaban? O kahit piliin man lang?

Do I really deserve this kind of love? Hindi ba ako karapatdapat piliin?

Ang daming tanong, sobrang daming tanong.

Then a voice is saying, "maybe they are not the right person". "They don't want to be the right person"

I'm in pain. I'm totally not ok. Hindi ko alam paano mag moveforward, hindi ko makita ung direksyon. Wala akong makita. Wala akong ibang maramdman kundi sakit, pero alam mo, I thank you both, salamat sa inyo. Salamat sa sakit, sa hirap, that made me realize how much love I can give despite of all these pain. Kung anung klaseng pagmamahal ang kaya kong ibgay. Sana hindi mapagod ang puso ko, sana hindi ito mapagod magmahal.

Salamat sa inyo. Salamat kasi tinuturuan nyo ako paano maging independent, maging matatag, ang matutunan i-let go at tanggapin na kahit yung mga bagay na nagpapasaya sayo? sobrang mahal mo? kailangan mong bitawan.

Shit! ang sarap magpakatatag. I wish I could be as tough as this all the time, but if in case I cannot, do not worry hndi nyo naman malalaman. Sana lang, sa lahat ng sinabi ko ngaun, eh mapanindigan ko hanggang dulo.

I may not see the pain you are going through right now, kasi masyado akong focus sa sakit na nararamdaman ko, and Im sorry. Gusto ko magsorry. Sorry kung nahihirapan ka, sorry kung nasasaktan kita. Sana one day you'll forgive me.

Last na talaga to.

Sana naging masaya ka sa pagmamahal na naibgay ko sa'yo. Kasi ako? khit masakit, kahit hanggang ngayon sobrang sakit, hindi ka parin nkakalimutan nito, naging masaya ako. Sobra.


 
 
 

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God is too wise to be mistaken
God is too good to be unkind
So when you don't understand
When don't see his plan
When you can't trace his hand
Trust His Heart...
Trust His Heart by Babbie Mason
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We both need to express what we feel..

Let it out and Pray. Everything will be fine. Keep the faith. God loves you!!!

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